How do you let people know what you see, feel & hear when beliefs are formed?
Your team member’s values and beliefs have a huge impact on the way they think, feel and behave. And it is those values and beliefs that influence the way they perform.
If they have positive beliefs about themselves and what they can achieve, their performance is likely to improve. But if they hold negative beliefs about themselves, they will be limited, which will negatively impact their performance.
If you want to understand your team’s values and beliefs, you need to build good rapport with them so they are more likely to trust you and feel they can share their view of things. It is important that they feel enough to be open and honest with you. Due to the fact that your team members are sharing their deepest thoughts and feelings, you need to reassure them that anything they share is in the strictest confidence. If there is anything you want to share for the benefit of the rest of the team, make sure you agree it with them beforehand. Trust is critical when working with your team on their values and beliefs because in order to change your team’s idea of what they can achieve and how they can change, you will have to challenge them, and you cannot challenge them if they don’t trust you.
Understanding beliefs
We all have positive and negative thoughts. Negative thoughts are often referred to as limiting beliefs and positive thoughts as empowering beliefs. By helping your team change their limiting beliefs into empowering ones, you will be supporting their personal growth. You will usually find that once they experience this change in their beliefs, they will be more willing to share their thoughts and feelings with you. This means you can build an even greater level of trust with them and help them grow even faster. First, let’s explore what beliefs are and how they are formed.
When do you develop your beliefs? Many of our beliefs are instilled in us by the time we are seven years old. They include beliefs about our worth as individuals and what we can achieve. These beliefs often stay with us throughout life. However, there are some other beliefs that we discard. Let me give you some examples.
Did you believe in the tooth fairy?
Did you believe in Father Christmas?
How old were you before you started to question whether these beliefs were true or not? I was probably about 10 years old when I started to question the existence of Santa and the tooth fairy. Now, of course, I know they don’t exist, but I still ask my own children to believe in them because they are magical and enthralling.
But why do we abandon beliefs in fantasy characters but not negative beliefs about our worth or ability? The simple answer is that our beliefs in Father Christmas and the tooth fairy are challenged (otherwise, we’d be a laughing stock), while deeper beliefs about our self-worth have never been questioned. So it is possible for us to change our beliefs when they become unhelpful, inappropriate and when they are challenged by ourselves and others, but often that simply doesn’t happen. Values and beliefs are typically handed down to us by our parents, siblings, teachers, and through our faith, culture and social organisation. They are what we believe to be true because others have told us so or because we have had them instilled in us from an early age. However, we all interpret what we have learnt differently, so although we use the same word for a value, e.g. respect, it could something different to each of us depending upon what we have been taught about it. It is important when challenging the values and beliefs of your team that you do not judge someone based on their interpretation of a word (value). Seek to clarify what it means to them even though it may mean something different to you.
How do you identify a belief? A belief is an idea you hold as true. You form your belief based on what others tell you and what you experience for yourself. Once you start to think something is true, you go about looking for evidence to support your belief because, for you, it is true. There may be no evidence for it whatsoever, but once you develop a belief, you will imagine or make up evidence for it because it serves your purposes. After all, your whole view of the world is based on what you believe to be true.
How do you elicit beliefs? Whereas values are encapsulated in one word, beliefs are usually expressed as statements and are often formed into a short phrase or sentences. As an example, here are some beliefs I have held myself or heard others expressing.
I’m no good at sales.
I will never be as good as X.
I don’t have the confidence to do X.
I’ve always been rubbish at X.
I’ve always been bottom.
I’ll never earn a bonus.
I’ll never get a promotion.
These are all negative beliefs that limit thinking and negatively impact performance because they prevent someone even making an effort to challenge the status quo. Your task as the team leader is to help your employees change their negative beliefs to something that is more empowering and that will help them achieve their goals. It’s worth carrying a notebook or blank piece of paper when you’re around your team so you can make a note of any limiting beliefs you hear them express. Look out for what they say, who they say it to. What is the impact of that phrase on the person saying it? What is it’s impact on other members of the team, the customers and the business as a whole? When challenging the person who expressed the belief, ask them the following questions:
Do these beliefs help or hinder you in achieving your goal?
Do these beliefs empower or limit you?
Where do these beliefs come from?
What evidence do you have that this belief is true?
I got into the habit of noting down my own beliefs and asking myself these questions on a daily basis when I was with the Ignite team. I then made a record of what I found in my reflective journal.
4. How do you interpret and use the information? Imagine if you had the skills and confidence to help change your employees’ belief systems? What impact would that have on your team’s performance? How much more successful would you be as a leader? Imagine what it would feel like to hear your team say:
I believe 110 per cent that I can achieve it.
I know I can finish in the top three and celebrate success on the podium.
Nothing is going to stop me now!
I have the confidence to deliver X.
I will secure X sales by month-end. x I have the confidence to have difficult conversations with X.
I am good, and good is good enough.
These beliefs are empowering, and even more importantly, they support the achievement of goals. It’s important when creating goals that you have a record of the empowering beliefs each member of your team has expressed. You can then draw their attention to the times when they have expressed those beliefs so they can see the positive impact it had on their performance and feel the magic in them. When you notice your team expressing their beliefs, let them know what you see, feel, and hear in the moment because this adds further credibility to the empowerment process.