Our thoughts and feelings impact our behaviours
Our messages are like icebergs: a very small amount of what we think and feel shows up as language.
What you see above the surface doesn’t always reflect what is happening or has happened below the surface.
Like the ice below the surface of an iceberg, the beliefs and values that we hold – and which have such a big impact on what we think, feel and do – are often invisible. Once our personal values and beliefs have been triggered, we have thoughts and these, in turn, stir emotions. When this happens, it’s as if the iceberg that is usually below the surface begins to emerge above the surface and become visible.
When your team member’s values and beliefs rise to the surface, you can see them in action through their actions and behaviours. If their beliefs are empowering and their values are congruent with the company’s values, your staff will probably have had positive thoughts resulting in positive emotions. If this is the case, you should witness positive behaviours and results.
On the flip side, if any members of your team have limiting beliefs or their values conflict with the company’s values, they will probably have negative thoughts, which will stir negative emotions. The consequence will probably be negative behaviour, which can be extremely disruptive and have a negative impact on the business.
As a leader, you need to challenge your employee’s values, beliefs, thoughts, and feelings if they negatively impact the business. You have to be the catalyst for change, even though this may feel alien to you.
Here are some of the consequences that may be experienced by you, the team and the business if you fail to challenge negative thoughts and behaviour.
As a leader, there are many potential consequences of ignoring what goes on beneath the surface of your team members’ minds. First of all, if you don’t understand what is going on in someone’s head, you will ultimately end up ignoring what they are feeling as well. As a result, they will probably exhibit negative behaviour, and their performance will be negatively affected.
For an employee, there are going to be consequences if their poor performance is not addressed. The employee will think that their contribution is acceptable, and this could lead them to become more challenging to you as the leader, especially when you come to review their performance at annual appraisals and discuss potential pay increases. This could cause conflict that might have been avoided with earlier intervention.
For customers, the consequence of allowing negative thoughts, feelings and behaviours to continue in your team is poor service. This means there are likely to be complaints made against the business. This, in turn, will impact you as a leader because it will be your responsibility to deal with the lack of customer satisfaction. This conflict could easily have been avoided if you had tried to understand what was going on in your team member’s mind.
By now, you can see that managing poor behaviour is challenging but rewarding as it helps your employees grow and develop as individuals. You have to remember that your team will have beliefs that have been instilled in them since the age of 7. Every individual has a choice whether they change those beliefs; however, you have a responsibility as a leader to shine a light on them so you can challenge them and discover whether they are empowering or limiting. By doing this, you can raise your staff’s awareness of their values and beliefs and the impact that these have on both themselves and the team. Beliefs can be changed, and when used to their full advantage, they can be extremely empowering. Once a leader and employee are empowered, the iceberg will soar into the sky.
Who knows how successful the team could be when that happens!
Daily actions to raise awareness of beliefs and values
Here is quick summary of what you need to do on a daily basis to raise awareness of your team’s values and beliefs so you can facilitate greater motivation, improved performance and better results.
1. Always have a blank piece of paper so you can capture the values and beliefs you see, feel and hear coming from your team.
2. When talking to your team, actively listen to what they are saying, observe their body language and notice what they’re not saying.
3. Question your team to better understand what their values mean to them. Use this information to raise your team’s awareness of their values and whether they help or hinder them from achieving their goals.
4. Support your team in changing their limiting beliefs into empowering beliefs and capturing them on a visual display, so the team knows what you are trying to achieve.
5. Agree what the team's core values are with everyone and capture them on a visual display, so everyone is reminded of them.
6. Encourage the team to be open and honest with each other, so you create a safe environment for sharing. This will build their confidence that they will not be judged for their thoughts and feelings even if they are challenged positively.
7. Highlight how values, beliefs, thoughts and feelings in the team impact behaviour and how behaviour affects the team’s results and the customer experience.
It’s so important that employees and managers recognise and understand their own and others’ behaviour because if you leave your negative thoughts and feelings inside, they could have a detrimental effect on the team.
Likewise, if you observe positive thoughts and feelings, then ensure they are radiated throughout the whole team so everyone can share them.
Positive thoughts and feelings create positive behaviour, which is powerful.